Member-only story
I’m Trans
Every time I sit down at my computer to write this, I break into an emotional mess. Incapable of moving my fingers at the fear of being judged, forever secluded to a corner of the Internet where none might care for whatever happens to me, like a lost treasure, has many stories to tell, but none it could.
What my recent Twitter bio change around the beginning of this year tells is simply the truth. I’m trans, agender to be specific. Coming to this realization has changed many things in my life, not the least of which is how I look at my history of gender experiences and how they nurtured this newly discovered reality I’m in. I’m not agender because I became such, I always had lurking residue of my mental being resenting the bits of masculinity that I thought made up the entirety of my gender identity.
When I was a kid, I used to do things which our collective society had come to acknowledge as being ‘traditionally feminine’. That consists of playing with dolls, catering to a very ambiguous style of clothing, enjoying talking to my mom and sister about experiences they’d only describe as “unfit for a man to talk about”, and loving to hang out more with girls and identifying with their everyday-isms than their male counterparts — part of me still to this day wonders what things had been had I succumbed fully to the pressures of society and…
